How to get the most out of communicating with your partner

Communication is a challenge among many couples when it comes to relationships. Often, one or both partners encounter difficulty expressing their thoughts, feelings, and needs. A lack of communication is a significant factor contributing to the failure of many relationships. For this reason, it is important to understand communication better and acquire the skills needed to interact effectively with your partner to foster a flourishing environment for your relationship to thrive.

Essential elements of a healthy communication in relationships include:

Being Open and Honest

Your partner cannot read your mind. If you do not share your thoughts and feelings with your partner, they will not know what they are. Establishing a healthy dialogue is essential for building a relationship that can last. You may feel like your partner will not want to hear what you have to say, but keeping your thoughts to yourself has repercussions for both of you. Having open communication with your partner requires easy and tough discussions. It also means sharing necessary information, fears, concerns, thoughts, and insights. Maintaining integrity and honesty in your discussions is vital. Relationship fulfillment requires both individuals to actively participate in open and honest communication.

Being Present in the Moment

To be fully present in the moment during a conversation with your partner, it's essential to give them your undivided attention. This entails actively listening, which involves offering feedback, restating your partner's words, and asking follow-up questions to gain understanding. It's crucial not to assume the meaning behind your partner's words; instead, take the time to seek clarification in that moment. While you might worry that this appears unnecessary or implies a lack of attentiveness or intelligence, it actually signals your genuine care and concern for both their feelings and the content of their message.

Being Empathetic

Considering your partner's emotions demonstrates that they can rely on you with their feelings. In relationships, opening up to each other can be difficult, so showing empathy is crucial for creating an environment where your partner feels at ease communicating. True empathy goes beyond mere sympathy; it involves recognizing your partner's worries and stepping into their perspective to genuinely understand and share in their emotions. While you may not directly experience their feelings, your efforts to uncover and comprehend their emotions contribute to a sense of security, fostering a safe space for them.

Seeking a Resolution

One of the most vexing aspects of relationship conflicts is the struggle to find effective solutions to the issues that arise. When couples fail to find common ground, problems escalate, putting the relationship in jeopardy. Establishing a resolution during communication is important. Though it is possible the conversation may conclude without a definitive solution, there should be a concerted effort toward resolving the issue once the discussion concludes. Seeking a resolution involves both parties collaboratively determining the best course of action, with one or both individuals rectifying the situation based on the circumstances. Both parties must uphold integrity in the relationship to mitigate adverse impacts.

Having the Conversation

Often, couples struggle to communicate with their partner, opting for silence as it feels more comfortable. Yet, without having meaningful conversations with your partner, you will not build the strong bond you desire with them. You must go beyond the superficial exchanges like "hey" and "bye" or "what are you doing tonight?" and delve into more profound expressions such as "you make me feel good when you say nice things" and "you hurt my feelings when you left without saying anything." Making your partner aware of your true feelings helps them to know how to treat you. Similarly, discussing significant aspects of your relationship, such as expectations, non-negotiables, and future goals, allows your partner the opportunity to make an informed decision about their role in the relationship.

Actively listening

When your focus is on responding rather than understanding your partner, your replies may lack depth and meaning. Genuine listening is evident when your response is timely and relevant, signaling to your partner that their words have been acknowledged. While the impulse to express your thoughts immediately may seem justified, it can be inconsiderate. Effectively addressing disagreements hinges on the ability to listen genuinely over the need to prove oneself. Active listening entails patiently awaiting your partner to conclude, posing follow-up questions, reflecting on their words, and responding thoughtfully.

Returning to the Conversation

There may be instances when it is necessary for couples to revisit a conversation at a later time. The key is to establish a designated time for revisiting the discussion and to minimize the frequency of such revisits. Sometimes, a partner will rely on postponing the conversation rather than discussing the matter immediately to avoid it. However, delaying the discussion will only prolong the issue and provide room for it to escalate. Addressing the matter immediately allows a prompt return to stabilizing the relationship. Again, there are situations when it is best to address the matter when parties are calm, have the time, are in a suitable environment, and can provide an appropriate response. Taking the necessary time is acceptable as it allows for thoughtful consideration and ensures the best possible response. What's crucial is revisiting the conversation promptly.

Acknowledging Non-Verbal Cues

Non-verbal communication is natural and effective. Yet, within relationships, it can cause confusion among couples if they are not prepared to acknowledge it. Firstly, it is important to understand that your partner communicates through non-verbal cues. Secondly, actively engage in learning and understanding your partner's non-verbal expressions. Thirdly, acknowledge them. Communication extends beyond spoken words. What is not said is as important. Responding to your partner's non-verbal cues lets them know you are paying attention. Recognizing their cues keeps you attuned to your partner's emotional state so you know how and when to respond.

While no relationship is ever perfect, establishing a healthy communication environment greatly increases the likelihood of its success. It's important to recognize that relationships cannot thrive on autopilot alone. Both parties must make intentional efforts, and one of the crucial components is maintaining healthy communication. When individuals effectively communicate with one another, it enables them to navigate the relationship with greater ease and reduces misunderstandings.

Naeemah Adero

Life with Adero

naeemahadero@gmail.com