Transforming Your Relationships

Building relationships is a process. One of the challenging aspects of the process is simply having to go through the processes it takes to reach the desired outcome. For many, the process is too uncomfortable. Sometimes, the most disappointing phase of the relationship process is recognizing what fulfillment looks like. We want what we want, how we want it, so anything other than getting what we think we want is not appealing. For everyone, the journey will be different, but all will go through a process. Whether you make the most out of your journey is up to you.

Accepting the truth

Understand. No relationship is perfect. There is no perfect formula for creating the perfect relationship or the perfect person. If you seek perfection, you should stop now and decide to be single for the rest of your life because moving forward will cause you and your partner misery. Inadvertently expecting perfection from your partner is the reason many relationships fail today. You must prepare your mind now to accept that you are not looking for a perfect person, just the perfect person for you.

Finding the right person

Securing the perfect person for you must be about something other than finding the person who dresses the best, makes the most money, or someone you can walk all over without challenging you back. The perfect person for you is the one you are comfortable with, compatible with, and helps you be a better person. If you have to work hard to change them so they can satisfy you, that is not the perfect person for you. That person may look how you want them to, drive the car you like, talk how you like, and be the ideal person you want on the external, but if they are not contributing to you becoming a better person and a fulfilled person, that may not be the one you should continue with.

What makes you better?

Becoming a better person with your partner is about your partner providing the emotional, economic, mental, and spiritual space for you to thrive as your individual self. If you find yourself not doing the things that you were once doing or need to do to be productive in your work once you start dating someone, you may need to evaluate why things changed. If you and your partner are constantly arguing and bickering about things that are important to you both, but one or both of you refuse to adjust from doing what is causing the problems, you may need to take a step back and decide the best approach for you both to have peace. Sometimes, that means ending the relationship. For married couples, sometimes, it's going to counseling or taking coaching sessions. Your partner's presence and contributions to the relationship, whether monetarily, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, or with other deeds, should produce joy, growth, and fulfillment.

Relational fulfillment

Experiencing fulfillment in your relationship is about you and your partner having healthy interactions, discussions, experiences, and disagreements. Your relationship will not be perfect. You will not go through your relationship without there being disappointments and disagreements. However, it is good practice to facilitate your disagreements and disappointments in a way that produces positive results instead of destructive behavior. Other fulfilling elements include stability, pleasurable experiences, support, and other met needs. Your relationship should bring you a level of peace despite the challenges. Though you may experience difficulties and rocky roads, there must be a system that leads to you effectively communicating your troubles so the neccessary things can be done for both parties to be well in the relationship.

You may be used to arguing about the problems in the relationship, pushing your concerns aside because you think you cannot get a better partner than the one you have, and settling because you do not know what to do to make things better, but not doing the necessary work that is needed to make yourself or the relationship better only really makes things worse. It is important that you take the steps to produce change no matter how uncomfortable it feels in the process. The discomfort is only for a short while. However, not doing anything at all causes the frustration to continue until you put a stop to it and change it. The results may end up different from what you were hoping for. Sometimes, the relationship you want to work out does not work out, but if you do what is necessary and go through the proper process, the results will be worth it.